So I have this friend....

People change, I guess as cliche as that sounds.  People evolve and people move forward.  I feel that has happened to me over the past year.  I have outgrown some of the people in my circle of friends.  Some by choice and others by force.  There is one friend I can recall right now that I thought things would be different, but they aren't.  Lets call her Sally.

Sally and I were roommates our freshman year in college.  We took on the world by storm and became a good team.  We had our ups and downs that year with our other room mates making living in a dorm difficult, but we powered through it.  After our freshman year,  we both parted ways from the dorm and lived in different places.   But we stayed in touch and had dinners and hung out when we could.  I could honestly say that it was better to live separate because it was always such a treat to see Sally and to hang out.  Our senior year of college, Sally failed a class and had to begin summer school. I on the other hand, landed my first career job and moved back home to save money.  We still hung out around the campus and in her apartment, but it never felt the same.  There was this wall that was there that I think the both of us didn't know how to approach.  Sally was attempting to be grown up.  She always talked about herself being so independent, however, her parents still covered a lot of her rent and bills.  By the end of the summer, my then boyfriend and I purchased a house together. I could tell she was jealous.  I could tell she envied the fact I had a house that was mine. None the less, she always came over to hang out.  A year later, I became engaged.  Sally acted happy for me, but deep down I knew she didn't like it.  She never planned on getting married and made sure everyone knew that.  However, I kept my head up and planned a fantastic wedding that of course she was a part of.  A few months before the wedding though, a family member passed away that changed her forever.  She began to demand things as a friend from myself and another girl.  Things that you don't ask friends to do...EVER.  She began to be so emotionally distraught, to the point where you would be worried if she would be alright at home.  Sally also began to talk about changing the world in ways that no single person could change them.  I think she was looking for a new control in her life to fill that void she lost with the death of her family member.  After my wedding though, things became worse.  She pushed not only me, but all of her other friends out.  Sally became a person that no one felt they could trust or have in their life.

Sally and I are currently in a weird place.  We talk occasionally, but it isn't the same. I think she and I both realize we have outgrown each other.  Life isn't a game to me any more like it is to her.  I have people who depend on me.  The worst problem of her day is whether or not her parents have sent her money in the mail yet.  I think Sally wants to grow up, but can't take that leap of faith to trust herself to do good in the world as an independent woman.  All I can do is hope she realizes it sooner rather than later.  After all, I will always be her friend, whether she likes it or not.  

Crossfit

Yes, the inevitable Crossfit blog post.  First off, I am in no way shape or form the person who will say Crossfit is the best thing in the world.  It's hard.  It takes a lot of work both in the gym and outside the gym.  Some days you want to give up and scream why did you do this.  I question myself every day I walk in my gym. Now you may ask, why do you do it?  Well there is a long story to this so grab some popcorn, and wine and hang tight. 

Part one of this story is New Years Resolutions.  Everyone always does to lose weight, or become a better person.  Mine was to do something that scared me and continue to do this every year.  

Part two of this story beings in early 2014. I was a small, cardio-only girl.  I could run 10 miles and not care.  I was training for a Nike Woman's Half Marathon and was excited for my Tiffany and Co necklace I would receive after I finished.  One day after a long run, I took off my cold gear and was getting ready for a shower.  I looked at myself in the mirror and then I saw it.  My butt was so flabby.  "How could this be?!?!" I thought.  I am in shape and can do anything.  Well not really.  I looked at things for me to do to give me a less flabby butt. I had no idea where to start or what to do.  I knew I needed to get toned.  I just didn't know how.  Google was only but so helpful.  I learned about workouts to do, but I never truly felt comfortable enough to do it myself.  I came across this thing called Crossfit.  It looked really hard and something I felt I would never be able to do.  Then it hit me.  Why not make this my something that makes me scared.  It was completely different than anything I have ever done.  I have done weight lifting and body pump classes in college, but never went consistent enough to get results or anything.  I looked around for Crossfit gyms near me and my work.  I found one that was really close to my work and decided to try it.  I emailed the owner and got a free trial class.  The moment I walked into that place, I was intimidated.  There were people in there working out already from the earlier class.  They were rope climbing, lifting bars and doing pull ups.  I instantly said to myself, "What did I get myself into?"  The assistant coach got me all signed up for my trial class.  I felt like I signed my life away.  The head coach was leading the class and asked me if I could handle a bit of pain.  I said sure, the cocky high school athlete in me came out.  The class was hard.  They had me deadlifting for the Workout of the Day 65lbs.  I practically was crying near the end.  My legs burned, my hands were rubbed raw from the bar.  But from that moment on, as weird as this sounds, I was hooked.  I wanted to get better.  I started their beginners class, which was initially 3 classes running through the basics.  It was basically this is what we do and here is a bar.  I stayed 6 months at that box.  It was okay.  I loved Crossfit and the workouts we did.  I didn't really click with the coaches though.  They had so many people in the gym, I felt like it didn't matter if I came or not.  I also did not like how I was cast aside from those who could lift more.  It felt awful to feel like you weren't good enough to be told good job after a workout.  Almost a month before my contract was to end, I was looking for a new place to call home.  I found it actually near my house.  I had a few of my husbands friends who worked out there and said it was great.  I emailed the coach and he said that I needed to come in to show him my skills.  If they weren't good enough, then I'd have to take elements.  When I came in, I was instantly in love.  The place was open, clean and bright.  It looked like a great place to do a workout.  The coach there had me demonstrate multiple lifts and jumps.  He critiqued me while I was completing these moves. I wasn't getting open on my snatches, I wasn't getting low on my squats.  I had to lock out my arms.  I loved how he wanted me to get better, even though I had only shown interest in joining, I immediately signed up for a year contract.  I have never looked back since then.  That gym has become my home.  I love it. I have become stronger since I joined there because I have a coach concentrating on my skills due to the small class sizes.  I have become a different athlete.  I more controlled in my movements.  I look at every workout strategically.  It has truly made me happy.  

I'm not going to end this post saying that everyone should do Crossfit.  It is not for everyone.  Some people do not like to be put out of their comfort zone every day working out. Some people also don't need the intensity.  The thing is what you do to become better is up to you and you alone.  After all, its your life, shouldn't you live it how you want to?  

First things first....

Today, I bought a Chromebook.  My HP laptop I received as a graduation gift from my parents 4 years ago for graduate school was dying a small and slow death.  Let me paint a picture of this slowly dying laptop.  The top of the screen had a few chips.  This made the connection of the screen and cover separate when it was flipped down.  The back of the computer was popping out, making the screen wiggle.  The space bar wasn't working, so I would have to literally pound it to get between sentences. I think it was high time for me to get something new.  I chose a Chromebook because I'm more prone to using Apps and unlike a lot of people it seems, I love the cloud and Google docs.

Now, I guess you are reading this, thinking this girl better not be going on about how great having a Chromebook is or how she loves using Apps over Microsoft programs.  Well, just as a heads up, that's the extent I know about Chromebooks and their capabilities.  I want to use this blog as a way to put my thoughts on paper.  I think the thing that has always held me back is knowing that someone will read my thoughts or be able to know what is going on in my life.  That has always made me be an introvert, unwilling to share with others.  I see a lot of people around me writing blogs, and sharing their lives online, so why not take that plung?  Since 2014, I have made it a goal each year to do something that scared me.  In 2014, I joined a Crossfit box (you will probably read about it soon in an upcoming post).  This year, I haven't really done anything that is life changing or altering, other than getting married.  However, I feel that since I got married, my life is still living with my best friend and nothing is scary about that.  That's why I decided to write this blog.  I have always been terrified to share my thoughts or experiences with others.  I have an intense fear of being judged or being seen as odd.  I'm at that age now where I need to get out of my comfort zone a bit more and explore the world.  So, here's to being a blogger :) Let's see how this goes.